Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.

On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.’

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:

‘So I hear you’re getting married?’


‘Do I know her?’


‘This woman, is she good looking?’

‘Not really.’

‘Is she a good cook?’

‘Nah, she can’t cook too well.’

‘Does she have lots of money?’

‘Nope! Poor as a church mouse.’

‘Why in the world do you want to marry her then?’

‘Because she can still drive!’

A white-haired man was walking from the country club when he noticed another man coming his way.  “Oh, no,” he thought, “I’ve known him for years.  In fact, we had lunch yesterday.  But I can’t remember his name.”

When they met, he decided not to fake it and said, “I know we had lunch yesterday, but I can’t come up with your name.”

“How soon do you need to know?” the friend asked.